i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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