Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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