Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
