i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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