Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
wrigley field is MILF paradise
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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