why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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