butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
