I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
