dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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