First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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