He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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