My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
