If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I will die if light touches me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
