I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
