I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
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I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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