I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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