Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
