dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
