I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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