Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
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Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
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What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.