They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
