Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
