For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
