Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
