Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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