i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize