I think my vagina is haunted
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
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i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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