yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
