When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
