just come out here and I will go home with you...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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