i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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