It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
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Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
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I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize