I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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