I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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