Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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