I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Pants are for mortals
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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