There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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