I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
