It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
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Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
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I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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