My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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