We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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