Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
