considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My penis needs a shock collar
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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