TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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