she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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