last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
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I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me