seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face