I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.