I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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