just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
