Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if you like me you must not know who I am
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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