Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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