I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
