We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
