Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
