So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
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I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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