from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
