Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
