Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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