well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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