I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
