Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
