I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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