we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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